I have been missing you guys lately. That is, if anyone is out there any longer. ?? ;o) I have been working hard lately to end my 50+ day blogging hiatus, but it seems as though there is always something else that I NEED to do before I let loose this human inside of me. We are officially at the 4 week countdown and something keeps bugging me about an early arrival. At this point I have said that to enough people that she is sure to be late and I have doomed myself to more hippo time in the summer heat, as well as, two birthdays to celebrate during the month of August from here until eternity. Although as I type that last sentence I can feel a leg (or some other appendage) kicking clear around my side to the back of my rib cage while simultaneously something is butting up against my bladder. It definitely feels like the great escape is under way. Pray for me, please!
We have been way too busy for me to even attempt to capture the essence of the crazy that has been spiraling around our home over the last couple of months. Alas, the light at the end of the tunnel has become increasingly brighter as the “big boy” room and nursery are coming together nicely, and just in time. The Little Guy has been happily sleeping away without much issue in his new, bigger and better (that’s how we’re selling it anyways!) room since May and as of last week the nursery furniture is in place and the bed is made and ready, should she arrive prior to her due date. I am slowly pulling the décor together, although it has been a lot of trial and error and use of what we already have in order to keep to my usual non-existent budget. The Little Guy’s room seemed set in stone until furniture arranging got the better of us and now all hanging of artwork has been placed on hold until we can decide the best configuration. But, again, we will get there because living with the chaos has nearly taken it’s toll.
It may sound pretty tame. Two rooms to fix up and rearrange. Oh, the most famous of last words! I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy-brain or simply that I am just not that good, but I have had the hardest time pulling the ideas in my head out and realizing them in my home. As we round the corner and come to the end I have begun to find that I am okay with where we are, despite it not all looking as perfect as my mind was able to dream it up. I keep reminding myself that in the first half of 2012 I have managed to complete a pretty decent guest bath mini-remodel, which I hope to have an artwork update to share with you all very soon. I have also successfully repainted, rearranged and furnished our spare bedroom to create a decent space for a toddler-to-little-boy transition, and all on a very tight budget. Along with that change-up, I made some modest switcheroo's in the nursery to accommodate a little girl without sending myself to a state of bed rest for the remainder of this pregnancy.
The toughest part during the last couple of months has been getting adjusted to having my office and craft space relocated to the playroom. While I loved the solace of our shared space over the garage and just down from our bedroom, my husband longed for an office of his own. So, with one enlightened conversation we managed a quick compromise (a miracle for even the best of marriages!) to place all the exercise equipment into my half of the office while bringing my crafting and workspace together in the playroom where all that equipment used to gather dust. Now, if one of those psychologists from Hoarders could come by and help my husband with his pack-ratting issues we may get to a point where all that exercise equipment can be set up for use. I certainly will be in need of some treadmill time in a couple of months. Maybe the promise of a heightened derriere will help get his in gear. I can only hope!
So now we come to the slow down and the time when I try to get my life back on a regular schedule. No, the house is not as clean and tidy as I would like it to be before baby and family begin infiltrating our space. And, yes, I would like to get a lot more food made and stowed away in the freezer before I have too many hungry mouths to feed and literally no energy to dial Chinese take-out. But, in between putting away the painting supplies and the occasional craft project for one space or another, I am working to give my Little Man some undivided attention. His monopoly on my time is about to abruptly end and in many ways that makes me terribly sad for him. I will freely admit, I LOVE every waking moment that I get to spend with him.
Even those that have me walking away, teary-eyed, cussing and wanting to smother him. Yes! The one thing I have learned in my almost three years of being a mom is that no matter how much you love them or how cute you think they are, there are moments you want to lock them in a closet and drown your sorrows in the whir (because that’s all you can do when you are preggers) of the margarita machine.
However, as the birth of our little girl approaches and I slow down to take a breath I can see some hesitation and anxiety in his eyes. I know he is over the moon at the idea of having a baby sister and getting the opportunity to teach her things, but as I have increasingly had to stop doing the more physical fun stuff with him I can see him starting to understand that his mom-time won’t be the same pretty soon. So, before I regret this lost time I am setting aside all the excessive DIY, Crafting, Sewing, Blogging, Web Surfing, Facebooking (God, when did that become a verb?) and just putting my fatty pants on the ground to drive trains around endless wooden tracks, through Mega block castles with tunnels and read to George and Martha anthologies cover to cover for the millionth time.
I’m sure it’s the hormones right now, but I have had a couple of tearful moments realizing myself that my special times with my sweet little man are about to be bombarded with crying, nursing, diapering and sleepless nights. It’s a bit of a mourning process I suppose. After each good old-fashioned, self-absorbed and woe-is-me moment I then remind myself that it will be different, never the same as it has been, but it will be better.
My family is growing in a wonderful way. My son will always have a playmate, confidant and someone with which he can share old age. A true friend to experience the “firsts” of life with, good or bad, a partner in crime against the ‘rents and an eye-rolling buddy when the hubs and I can no longer hide our dorkiness. So, for all the mixed emotions coming my way, and that of the rest of my family, I think happiness is what is standing out the most. And, even though I feel I have let so many commitments slide and fall to the wayside, I am at peace with this place where I stand and can’t wait for our next chapter.
PS-I promise to get my narcissism under control before the next posting. Sometimes it’s good just to let some things out once in a while, right?
PSS-As time permits I will share pics of all the changes happening around here.